comparison / other people's perceptions

[MoonSun]

Wow, class today was FIRE

This resonated strongly "I am sending the perfect message always. how someone else translates that, it’s not my responsibility. You can’t control how other people perceive you. too much focus on the other person." From the questions section of class

Has anyone else had to deal with imposed competition/imposed comparison?? It's such a weird game to find yourself in and have to step out of and say nope, not for me!

[Tiffany]

Class was amazing!

I deal with this all the time. I’m currently working on this with my therapist. It was good to hear the spiritual aspect of that today. I do focus on how others perceive me way too much and this ends up turning into social anxiety

[MoonSun]

Competitive energy is an interesting exchange!! In my particular situation, I did forcing connection stuff--overcompensating with kindness, going way overboard to establish a connection or show that I support them, trying to turn my light down to make them like me...

I worked for an athlete these past few months, and it was so interesting to think about how he handled his genuine competitors, like, a legit requirement of his job. He did not have to be close friends with them! Polite and friendly, yes! But who said he had to be best friends with people who's actual job it was to be competitive with him?? That would be crazy!!

So it was really eye opening that maybe I'd taken the spiritual "There is no competition" to the point of ignoring and denying aspects of my relationship with a particular person, rather than acknowledging it and then minding my own business. Kind of like suppressing the negative, instead of accepting it and then releasing it

[MoonSun]

Also, social anxiety is so real, especially feeling other people's energy and how they're interpreting you

[Tiffany]

Wow this is interesting. I used to dim my light or try to change so people would like me also. I became sooo draining

[dulcie]

Oooh yes. This resonates hard

[Hanna]

Mhm that part! The moment we began talking about this, I was reminded about how cautious I sometimes get with being my natural friendly self w males, particularly this very recent time when I was walking down the street smiling at everyone and thing, including trees and dogs, but got all in my head with a load of questions about the feelings that were coming up after having an exchange with a guy.  

Looking back now, I realize that they mainly stem from past incidents when my friends would describe my behavior as flirty when I was just being myself, it took Maryam to mention a similar experience for me to realize that I had internalized those comments and would try to adjust my behavior accordingly at times. I feel like this topic was another reminder of that and answered the million questions that came up again from the other day on the street - like Maryam said, it's simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing to do, to just be yourself!

(we're going to get this!)