Why am I constantly dreaming this

[Haroula]

Good evening NEMS souls :)
I hope you are all well, I would like to ask  for some wisdom and insight into my dreams.
My previous partner ended the relationship after seven years in October last year. Since then I am having reoccurring dreams of her ending the relationship and telling me she doesn’t want to be with me, some dreams have been so cruel like her rejecting me and I think to myself why am I reliving this??? . The dreams feel so real and I wake up upset and having to re live through the whole thing again and again. In the earlier stages it would impact me so much I wouldn’t be able to go to work from the dream because it would upset me.  I had another one this morning and it was a long the same theme- I was with my previous partner and I was asking if if she loves me and she wouldn’t respond and I was crying and crying. Is there a reason why I am constantly dreaming this ? I have accepted the break up and am now focusing on my self and being kind to myself. So just curious as to why I am still dreaming this. There have been a few times where I have dreamt that I have been with her and she regretted it all. But most of the time the dreams are about her rejecting me and telling me she doesn’t want to be with me.  
Thank you for taking your time to read this :) if anyone else is going through a break up I’m sending you lots of love and support x x x this is a tough journey

[Sisi]

It seems to me that you have some underlying feelings about the breakup that are still unresolved. I also experienced a perceived traumatic breakup last year, that ended abruptly without warning and left my ego very bruised. I would constantly have dreams about my ex-partner. I contacted him in hopes of maybe getting some clarity as to why the break up happened. I didn't get the answer I was looking for. However, the dreams did stop. As you said, you have taken the steps to focus on your self and move on, but also be patient with your self. This relationship was a whole 7 years of your life. I found that getting upset or worrying about the dreams only made things worst. Adjust your perspective and view the dreams as something that your spirit wants you to learn that you have not quite grasped yet. Eventually, if you put the work in your heart will heal.

[Sarah]

Aw, honey. It seems like what it comes down to here is just that grief takes time.

It sounds like you’re doing great work during your waking hours loving and holding space for yourself while your subconscious processes the loss. I don’t know what the rest of your practice is like, but this could definitely be a place to use some of our frequency management tools like EFT, affirmations, etc, to reaffirm for yourself that you are safe and loved. You know what’s best for you in this situation.

I find that when I’m doing this focused practice during the daytime, the dream stuff slowly shifts into alignment with what I’m calling in - and in the meantime, the devastating/scary dreams don’t bother me as much. I also rehearse dreams - if those scary recurring dreams are popping up, I’ll walk myself through it and decide how I want to respond differently. I’ll pick a cue behavior in the dream that prompts me to respond in the dream the way I’ve rehearsed. It takes time, but the shift does happen, and when it does, it can be fast!

That said, remember that this process takes time. I’m so sorry you’re going through it. You are in such good company here! We’re holding a vision of you feeling loved, safe, and supported.

[Haroula]

Thank you Sarah :) It is nice to hear words of acknowledgment and encouragement. It makes the grief feel normal especially on days when I feel I’m going crazy and am I the only one going through it like this. I have gone in a little cave and just spent time reading, going to the beach everyday, being with my dogs, NEMS, and journaling. This is very different for me because usually I a enjoy going out and being sociable etc. but right now I can’t even think about that and don’t feel like doing those things. Thank you sweetly for holding the vision for me 💛💛💛

[Haroula]

Hi Sisi :)
Thank you for the message and insight. It sounds very similar to you. There were underlying issues, I didn’t know where the break up came from. There was a lot of blame put towards me which made me feel guilty. I did write a letter to  address that the way it ended could have been done with more honesty and respect. Now I’m working through all the guilt (learning it wasn’t all me) rejection, pain, depression, sorrow, sadness and confusion. It’s hard ! Now I know why people either go into another relationship straight away or suppress their feelings because this is hard and painful. Thank you again Sisi for sharing your story with me and providing support it has made me feel not alone and given me some strength I really appreciate it it 💛💛💛🌞🌞🌞