Am I the only one who's not am empath?

[Becky]

I've just never thought of myself as an "empath" -- I've never really gotten into astrology, I still can't see auras even though I'm working on it (lol), I'm not telepathic, I've never had an intentional lucid dream, etc.  That said, though, I do sense things and I do trust my intuition. I've always talked to plants . :)

I do think part of not relating to the idea of "being an empath" is the programming I received growing up in the Roman Catholic tradition. My mother was either very guarded against anything "occult" (she made me go to confession because I read the horoscope in the funny paper out loud one Sunday, and she cautioned emphatically against ever even looking at it again) OR she was very dismissive of anything energy-related being "a bunch of New Age Crap." (FYI, I have worked a lot on forgiveness with her, with great success...this is just for background....and Honestly, she's wasn't "wrong" when she said things like "demons can get in and latch onto you from something you do or say that seems innocuous.")

But I've always felt connected to Source and surrounded and guided by Divine Love. I do tend to pick up on what other people are feeling, so I don't know if it's a different perceiving or just different language. (I tend to think it's a different perceiving.) I do resonate with "sensitive" actually. Every time I hear that word, it takes me again back to my mother who often told me I was "over-sensitive" as though it were a bad thing, and I never agreed with her on that because I have always kind of liked my sensitivity. I didn't argue with her about it or anything, just didn't accept that valuation of it.

I always felt that God/Divine/All was too big for the small box of any one religion. What drew me here was the metaphysics -- like "What the $#% do we Know" -- and looking for practical ways to explore, cultivate, and direct my energy. I do not have words to express how strongly the Healed Healer series has resonated!!!

This is such an inspiring group of people with a whole lot of healthy habits to try. I absolutely love the community meetings, and I made my first online class today (yay). I'm really curious if my perception that most of y'all consider yourselves to be empaths or recovering empaths is true, or if I'm just insecure along the 'do I fit in here because I don't even know my rising sign?' line. (ha)

In curiosity and community,
Becky

hi becky! I am not super active on this forum but I just happened to read your post and feel called to respond.

I really don't think there's one modality or path for any of this work. It feels the confusion is just about the word empath. If you look back at Maryam's past classes, there is a lot of discussion about how being an empath - is an old template for feeling and prioritizing others feelings and giving your power away to that idea.

I have no idea what others think in this school but I am guessing we all feel sensitive. Which I think just means our senses are heightened and our emotions come up to be felt! In that sense I think we are all in the same boat.

With astrology, i feel like there are so many different modalities etc. to learn and the ones that bore you aren't for you and the ones you don't care about don't matter and the ones that excite you or are easily understood might be the ones that really help you unlock your gifts.

It doesn't mean anything that you don't know your rising sign. I think most of us who got really into astrology just enjoy it b/c it feels like a permission slip to explore other dimensions of ourselves.

Sounds like you have an amazing connection to source that doesn't require your mind to do so much research and in the end I feel like that's what i seek when I research astrology, etc., so to me, it feels like your direct sense of the divine is your north star.

Hope this is helpful!
Xenia

[zahraw]

Hi Becky,

I want to second what is said above.

So today, i was bored at work and i was watching a vice video on empathy.  the premise was that the host of the video wanted to explore what empathy was and raised some points of skepticism not too far from yours.

i want to basically note that the important thing is to explore the similarities and differences between empathy and sympathy, and perhaps suggest, if you'd like, to use that as your source of definition for what empathy looks like, what it means to have empathy, etc.  empathy is essentially being able to feel what others feel where as sympathy is understanding what others feel.  forgive me, i don't mean to question your knowledge and i'm sure you must already know this.

but for me, as someone who struggles to understand and holds a great deal of skepticism around those who want to capitalize on their "empathetic powers", an empath is someone who possesses empathetic qualities.  can you read a room? are you impacted by what and how others feel? do you find that you don't have a lot of trouble walking in other people's shoes? then i would imagine you're an empath.

if being an empath is associated with having psychic powers - i struggle with that.

best wishes in grounding yourself and finding your roots!

[Becky]

Hi thanks, yes, I agree, though I'm not so much skeptical that others have empathetic or developed "clair" powers. I have at least one friend who avoids going out because he is just a sponge for other people's emotions. I personally think most people (IME) tend to be more shut down emotionally because of our culture.

I've been involved in facilitating a nonviolent communication practice group for probably about a decade now, and sympathy vs. empathy is something we work with. Getting out of the "intellectual understanding" (which is often experienced by the other person as pity vs. compassion) and actually trying to walk in someone else's shoes, truly FEELing our own emotions (which we often suppress because we experience them as uncomfortable), etc. We start looking at feelings a biofeedback, taking the judgments out, so we can see what they are telling us.

It's very interesting to me, to be exploring if my being able to tune into others' feelings is something I might also be absorbing/holding (though not as much as my friend, of course). I think this is sometimes true with people I'm closest to, but now it's got me wondering if it happens all the time and I'm just not aware of it.

In my yoga teacher training class there was some discussion on numerology and, while there are definitely patterns I can see, it all seems so ...random. Like, the date I was born is fairly arbitrary (do I use the Gregorian or Julian calendar? etc.). So, is that resistance because it's not my jam, or because i have a program (tbd, I guess!).

Anyway, I guess I'm tentatively exploring where I fit with this group in general. I definitely feel supported and stimulated. Maybe I have some insecurity that I'm not as good/evolved/healthy/balanced etc. as others.

Peace and curiosity,
Becky

[Katrina Scarlett]

Hey there Becky!

   I can absolutely relate to you on the feeling insecure if I "fit in" because some in this community are more "evolved" than me. I've sat with those feelings on many occasions, actually LOL
   I always come back to the knowing that we are right where we belong, in every moment and every experience. I also remind myself that we are all at different points of this journey, and that's okay! Just as some people look at their peers having kids and owning homes and feeling "left behind," for me these have been feelings to overcome. Learning to honor and respect my own path, and to know that there is no comparison that should ever be done has been one of the best parts of my journey thus far.
   I am so happy that you are here, that we are all here together! Thank you so much for your vulnerability in sharing.

[Becky]

Yes, thank you for that affirmation!

I think I often also experience impatience (which I think the flip side is excitement!). I spent yesterday doing some practices to increase my capacity to tolerate discomfort. (I laugh as I type this.)

I'm so glad I made this post. I really want to talk more deeply about all of the depth and the pain and the beauty and the joy of this journey we are all on together.

Posting this also got me thinking a lot about the age I was when this interaction with my mom I described and how I used to do lots of ritualistic-type stuff as a kid, out in the woods. I trod circles for fairies and made altars and picked leaves off flowers and felt for water, so I decided to watch the Inner Child class, and I made myself a little altar to 12yo Becky. That was when I started questioning if what I did was "okay" and when I started translating my experience of God into words that could also fit into the box of what was deemed acceptable by Catholic theology. And some interesting stuff has been coming up.

I think that's part of why I love metaphysics. Because that language allows me to talk about my spiritual self even with atheists in a way where we both can feel connected and understood.

So thanks also for the reminder that we all can struggle with comparing ourselves to others and running those stories, and that Letting That Shit Go is a process. :)

Sat Nam.

[Becky]

I have to note that you were the first to respond, and I appreciate that. :)

I think astrology is fun to explore; I really love the idea of exploring it as archetypes, as a way of being aware what role I might be playing at any time. It's a fun way (for me) to practice being ln the moment and less attached to outcomes.

I mentioned downthread that I made myself an altar to my younger self, and By God I put myself a tarot deck on there, because 12yo Becky would have absolutely loved to play with something like that. Beautiful drawings, talking to my angels, peering through the veil into the future, what's not to love? I also bought a grownup organic version of Kissing Potion, because she wouldn't let me purchase that one, specifically because it had the double whammy of the word "potion" and "kissing is NOT something you should be thinking about at this age." LOLOLOLOL! OMG, right? But I have to give her gratitude for teaching me the lesson that words ARE spells, because I did integrate that, to my benefit.

So thank you! Because I think your supportive response triggered this thought process in me. :)

Sat nam.

[Erika Austin]

You’re perfect just as you are, fabulous and simple 💕. You already are whatever you hope to embrace or become since you can perceive it. I hope this thread in encouraging for you to nurture every part of you and show it love. Everything is a call to love as another energy worker duo I love say 🤗 . I definitely recommend eft tapping whatever you want to help embrace in you too and to help forgive parts of you that need more love from you. Much love to you and I hope you have an awesome day, you’re always welcome here at NEMS ❤️❤️❤️👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

[Erica]

Hi Becky,

I really enjoyed reading your post as I completely relate. While I can't exactly say why I've never considered myself an empath, I know it has more to do with my aversion to labels than my upbringing, although that too has it's place in this. Of my 8 person houshold growing up, I was the one labeled "too sensitive" for feeling the emotions other thought they were hiding; and "weird" for deciding to "heal myself" when I was 16, among other things.

I've never made an alter, I couldn't pass a test on the Chakra centers, and I don't talk to my water, so I too have had to sit with the "do I fit in here" feelings. My resolution to this came with my realization that there are many paths to the same destination.That, it's not about the vehicle that gets me there, or even the speed at which I arrive; it's solely about the arrival.

I have no plans to give myself any labels but I do plan to talk to my water, build many alters and do all sorts of other fun things while exploring this path. Being among these community members has resourced me in ways that now make me feel like my vehicle is a rocketship *insert image of Thelma and Louise

At the end of the day, I feel tremendously blessed to have stopped to smell the flowers of this community and I look forward to having so many beautifully sourced tour guides; including you.

[Becky]

 "feel tremendously blessed to have stopped to smell the flowers of this community"

That is beautiful! Thank you for sharing, and have fun!

I made my first true altar-altar recently (I have always tended to think of various flower/picture arrangements as sacred, but this is a table with a cloth... def an altar). It's been really interesting what has come up from that. :)

-Becky