Having sex again

[Daphne]

My 8 year relationship has officially come to an end.

It's also been a year since I've had sex.

I wonder if its possible to have sensual tantric sex with someone you're not in a relationship with nor in love with as I genuinely want to stay solo for sometime. In other words, can I have loving sex with a "fuck buddy"? I also don't like using this term but can't think of a more appealing name. ::shrugs::
Has anyone figured this out and if they have or haven't, I'd appreciate, if you're willing to share, seeing lessons you've learned in this kind of relationship.

With love,
Daphne

[Haroula]

Hi Daphne
My 7 year relationship came to an end recently and it’s been one of the most painful journeys I have ever been on. It’s been almost 4 months and the thought of touching someone else makes me feel sick. I know the way I’m feeling is normal. I guess I may not have sex for a long time too and am curious to know what everyone else shares on your question.

[Danielle]

I certainly am not in the place where I could have a casual sexual partner on a superficial non-love level.  I am only seeking people I love in any level of intimacy, especially someone I’m going to be sexually intimate with. I have been with my husband for eight years.  We were playing with non-monogamy, but not in a sacred way. My recent experiences with powerful catalystic soul mates have left me a bit more cautious with using sexual energy.  My perceptions on the subtle dynamics of unity through sex have me wanting to be clear in my aligned vibration before wanting to embark on that front again.  My experience is that unification is sacred and powerful.  If you are not clear on your on your own feelings, it’s easy and natural to merge with the person(s) you are engaging with sexually.  Ever the more complicated when there is more than one lover as the desires and encodings of the others can even transfer between lovers.  It’s important to have a partner who is aligned with where you want to be energetically, because you are merging with them.  I would not seek out a fuck buddy at all.  I would call in with my heart a lover that is a perfect match for my desires and growth.  If that looks like a lot of space and a lack of daily interweaving, go for it.  Dream it up.  That’s what we are doing here.

[Yassmin]

Tantra is about the senses... invoking the senses... before delving into sex with someone else, really think, and feel...are you really just looking to have your senses stimulated? Are you trying to get the feeling of your previous relationship out of your energy field? Or is this new person the person that you want to reach higher dimensions with during sex?

If you just want your senses stimulated, consider using tantra as a way to practice presence with yourself. Being so present that every moment is sensual. Engage the senses, set the mood for yourself throughout the day. Understand that another person is not needed for tantric creation...There's an added layer when there is someone else involved, yes, but tantra is really about presence, so if at the end of the day you want to set the mood for yourself and engage in self exploration, yoni massage, and if you feel called to, use a yoni wand. Getting back into your body, feeling yourself without the influence of another. From my experience, just doing this a couple times reveals so much about what kind of inner work I have to do, the next stages in my evolution, and I am able to get clear about the world that I am ready to create for myself... Its usually followed by meditation, crying and journaling, lol, but yeah, lol, I hope that wasn't TMI 🙈

If you are feeling like you want to clear your previous relationship out of your energy field, Consider a routine of weekly yoni steaming, or even if you want, consider douching with strained Luke warm tea of mugwort, damiana, or red clover (make sure its strained completely and not too hot if you decide to douche, if you have any allergies to any of these herbs, then consider just warm water). All of this visceral connecting with your body is a way to really learn the landscape of your own vessel. It can also allow for you to reflect and connect to hear what your body needs.


And I mean, even after considering all of this, If you're ready to and this other person really wants to just lay it down real good and treat you right on some Chris Brown "Wet the Bed", "No BS", some Jaquees "Feel It", that Dawn Richards "Sauce", on some Luke James "Drip", that Tank "When We"  Energy............

Then I meannnnnnnnnnnnn.......hey 😏😝🙃

lol, but yeah
This is just some stuff that came to me from my own experiences


All is well, Love 💕

Take good care!

🌹
Sincerely,
Yassmin

[Sarah]

Wowww, Yassmin, I love love love your answer to this question <3

Daphne, I second all that and also add that for me, it *is* possible to have loving sex with a person with whom you’ve agreed you’re not in a “relationship” with. In my experience, it was actually really magical and enlightening in all the best ways.

It was someone I met in college and we were from opposite sides of the world, so graduation was always an expiration date for us. But we had so much fun together, and sex became a natural expression of that joy. What I really appreciated about that relationship is, and why I felt comfortable doing this with this person, is that we were both very present and conscious about what we were doing - always lovingly checking in with each other, like, hey, you still feeling comfortable with this, how can I support you right now, etc.

And it’s ten years later and we’re still very dear friends, from opposite sides of the globe. He’s someone I love and admire very much, always will, just not always in the same way.

So, I guess what I’m saying is, fuck buddies aren’t always as insignificant or trivial in our lives as the word makes it sound. They can be someone we love and enjoy and admire very deeply and who shape our whole lives. They can be soul mates.

To me, everyone I’m with sexually, I love as a soul. Just because we’ve agreed we don’t choose to be partners to each other in other areas of life doesn’t mean we can’t express our love for each other and share energy through sex (is that the most Pisces-Taurus thing I’ve ever said in my life, or what.)

[Daphne]

Hi Haroula, I'm glad to not be alone in this! :)

[Daphne]

Hi Danielle,

Definitely someone I feel like is the right person to share the energy with. There's someone at my day job and there is an attraction. Not sure if we match in what is attracting us to each other though so I want to be grounded and clear when I decide to exchange with a man/woman in this way.

Thank you!

[Daphne]

Yassmin! I died at the very last paragraph. I'm somewhere in between "Chris Brown "Wet the Bed", "No BS", some Jaquees "Feel It", that Dawn Richards "Sauce", on some Luke James "Drip", that Tank "When We"  Energy" to wanting to reach a higher dimension.

Thank you!

[Daphne]

Sarah, I appreciate this so much because something in my heart has been telling me that this is possible; someone I respect and respects me and is in a place where they are capable and wanting to not be in a relationship and can enjoy each other deeply and magically. I need to rearrange the wording but it's close!

You've given me hope and reassurance that my wants are valid.

Thank you!

[Danielle]

I hope you enjoy.   Some of my most transformational sexual experiences have been with long distance or non domestic lovers.  💗

[Sarah]

Yay, Daphne!! I’m so glad to hear that. I’m sending you so much love and magic. You got this, sister!

[Yassmin]

😋🙂🙃
 🙈😅😭
I been making a playlist  for the Spring equinox, you know gotta stay ready, lolol, I’ve had those songs in rotation 😆

Luke James “drip” alone can get you to higher dimensions, lmao!

But for real ❤️ I’m wishing you beautiful, divine, heart expanding experiences,

from this dimension and beyond 12D

Besos 💌
-Yassmin